Skip to main content

Eat, pray, self-love

 


 

Dear Motherhood… Dear Rethabile

Thank you. I am grateful that you helped me find myself. I am grateful that you have allowed me to hide behind you as I pick up the pieces to the rest of me. Thank you for the laughter, the pain and the lessons. I learnt so much about myself the past four years (pregnancy included) through you, that I am looking forward to the joy you will bring as we celebrate Oabetswe’s third year. Here is to you!! For you came with so much joy in my life and those around us.

 

March 2nd, 2023

Three years ago, on this day, I went to the hospital. Signs that I was about to go into labour were showing. My nerves were all over the place as I was about to be a mother to a human being and not just my belly. The past months had just been about ensuring I eat, pray and carry myself with love so I could take care of my baby, Panda. I ended up sleeping at the hospital for two nights because just like her mom, Panda works at her own time. The damn audacity to do that to your own mother!

 

With this coming Saturday marking our 3 year anniversary, or as Panda calls it, her birthday, I realised the amount of pressure I had put on myself. The pressure of ensuring she knows that she is loved and cared for…but I soon realised that I am the one who I was actually worried about. Again, I am learning to deal with my issues outside of parenthood.

 

During my journey of finding fulfilment, I asked myself the question Elizabeth Gilbert received in her movie and book ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, “What is your word?” Basically asking who are you or what word best describes you. I have struggled with this question because I am continuously finding things about myself and cannot be boxed into one category. In the movie, Elizabeth throws out words like “wife” and “daughter”. This took me back to a conversation I had with my God Baby Daddy (Panda’s Godfather) where I was telling him that I am finding it hard to balance life as a mom and life as Rethabile. His response was so simple yet effective because all he said was “Stop trying to be one thing at a time and embrace all of you. You aren’t just a mom and you aren’t just Rethabile. You are everything in one”.  

 

What this made me realise was I was so focused on everything I am not that I never celebrated all that I am and all I have done. I am always focused on the next move and not what is right in front of me. So in the spirit of celebrating and giving thanks, I decided to just write what I am grateful for

 

1. ·       I have acted for big and small productions.

·       I got the opportunity to study and graduate.

·       Thanks to Thato having had a show on BMH Radio, I have been on live radio.

·       I have been featured on people’s songs as a vocalist.

·       I successfully registered a business (as sole proprietor) and one with a partner.

·       I have worked hard and got modelling gigs

·       I started a family of my own (Panda and I).

·       I have had the opportunity to be a working mom and now a stay at home mom.

·       I survived the most abusive relationship I have ever been in and still came out believing in love and good in other people

·       I started my own blog

·       I get to celebrate 3 years of Panda’s life daily!

 

By acknowledging all the things I have, I realise that sometimes self-love isn’t telling yourself how much you love yourself or how pretty you look, but by reminding yourself of all you have achieved and gotten through. I am really my favourite reminder of just how good God is as I have seen miracles happen for me. My next and current adventure includes me taking my place in God’s kingdom. I have worked hard to prove myself worthy of worldly status and I am beyond happy. It is not everyone that gets to live their dreams the way I have. I am proud of myself. I eat more, pray more and love myself so much that I have been receiving love from outside too.

So, who am I? I am God’s child. An heiress to His kingdom. One of the kingdom builders and I am absolutely proud of it.

 

Anyway, let me go play one of my roles and prepare for Panda’s day care birthday celebration. I am beyond pumped!!

 

-        Love, Rethabile The mom

P.S Psalm 100

(A psalm of thanksgiving)

“Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! Worship the Lord with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.”

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Journey of Becoming: 28 Years in the making.

Turning 28 feels surreal — as though I’m standing at the crossroads of who I was and who I’m becoming. Reflecting on the past few years — the triumphs, the heartaches, the lessons, and the moments filled with grace — one truth remains clear: God has been faithful through it all. This year, I’m marking my birthday a little differently. Planting butternut seeds has become more than a simple tradition; it’s a symbolic act of growth and surrender. Just as those seeds take root and grow under God’s care, I too am choosing to root myself deeper in His love and purpose. Today, I am dedicating this moment to prayer, seeking to draw closer to God and hear His voice more clearly. Life has not always been easy, but through every season, His faithfulness has remained constant. I choose to honour both the challenges that have shaped me and the victories that have reminded me of His unending grace. 10th February 2025 Dear Diary, Three years ago, we began our journey together. I had just turned 25, a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Rethabile, The Companion. Part 2

Hello, Companionship "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 It has been two years since I last wrote about you. One might think that two years is a short time, but looking back, I realise it has been a time of learning and unlearning, breaking and rebuilding. You have been both a source of joy and heartache, a teacher in ways I never expected. I once thought you were something that simply happened—a natural force, an inevitable presence. But I have come to realise that you are intentional, a choice we make every day. You have held my hand in laughter and wiped my tears in silence. You have shown up in friendships that flourished and in relationships that faded. You have taught me that love is not just about being present but about choosing to stay, to nurture, to walk alongside even when the road is rou...
Post a Comment
Read more

Journey to the center of Rethabile...Introducing me

 Firstly, I would love to take a moment just to thank God. During my 25th year of living, God has carried me through and out of my darkest days, and into my continuous salvation and achievements. I was able to not only learn how to stand my ground, but I actually achieved 4 out of 6 main goals I set for myself beginning of 2022. This was, and still is something I am very proud of because I usually get lazy or give up halfway through the year. Not this time baby! I would also love to thank God for the gift of motherhood, family and genuine friendships. Had it not been for these people and relationships, I believe I wouldn't be here today Secondly, you probably noticed the name change. Now for those who are new here (this is me hoping I reached new readers), the blog was once titled "Diary of a stay at home mom: Retha's world". I know, I get it, it was long. Well I am proud to announce that it is now and will forever be known as "Retha's Diary". Maybe no...
Post a Comment
Read more